im gay
i know
yea but for you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
