I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
