He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I AM VODKA MAN
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize