I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
