Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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