if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
