My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
