I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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