90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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