So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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