I must be too annoying 4 u.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
