operation have a gay friend backfired
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
