dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
