My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
