so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
