dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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