My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
