It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
