can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
