ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
