I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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