you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
