They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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