they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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