worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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