I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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