I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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