Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
