Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
