can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
