no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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