You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
