i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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