i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
