So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
