Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize