my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
