I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
