Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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