Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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