Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
nutella sex= disaster
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
