Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
a search helicopter?!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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