We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
