sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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