So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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