Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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