if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize