Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
