She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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