i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
