Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
