all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
