Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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