I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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