4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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