The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize