There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
