Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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