I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
