im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
