what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
